Eyes

In your eyes I see the world in caricature
In your eyes I enamour the grandure of the skyline
In your eyes I hear notes, rests, and time signatures
Carefully strewn together in a miniscule orchestra
In your eyes I absorb colors in unbelievable radiance
I see a whole new dimension
A whole new meaning
All in stark simplicity
I see all these
As I tread on thin glass
As i falsely hope

Wide-Eyed Slumber

I know I need to sleep
But I just can't
I need to tire myself incessantly
Just to forget
I am frequently consumed
With thoughts and confusion
I have frequently assumed
And fed this worthless imagination


I am in my wide-eyed slumber
Ironic and ambiguous
Unfair and ridiculous

I am in my wide-eyed slumber
Lethargic but alive
Melancholic and resigned

I am in my wide-eyed slumber

Para Kay Iska

Gisingin muli ang diwa… Ang pagmamahal sa bayan… Sa kamalayan… Sa dunong… Sa hustisya…
Gisingin muli ang nahimbing na Iskolar ng Bayan na minsa’y nanumpa…
Nangakong hindi ipapariwara ang kaban ng bayang ginugol sa kanyang pag-aaral….
Nanumpang hindi mag-papaisa… Hindi magpapatanikala… Hindi tatanghod sa wala…
Hindi magiging biktima ng sistema o alipin ng pagkakataon…
Gisingin muli ang yabang na nagmula sa ideolohiyang sinubok ng panahon… Ibinasbas ng mga taon …
Gisingin muli si Iska na may mapusok na damdamin at pagkahaling sa kamalayan…
Gisingin si Iska na nakikialam at bumubuo ng kaalaman…
Yaong hindi marerehasan ang isipan at dadaming may maiigting na paniniwala…
Gisingin muli and diwa sa mula sa saglit na pagkahimlay sa banig ng walang katuturan…
Gumising ka iska… Matalino ka… Mag-isip ka…

Tell me

What do I have to do?

Do I have to beg
Or walk a hundred miles
Do I have to pray
To the gods of other tribes

Do I have to be
Like sinless saints
Do I need to learn
A few more trades

What do I have to do?

Do I lie in wait
A few more years
Do I have to see
More pain and glee

Do I speak in prose
Or riddled words
Do I sing more songs
Or write more notes

Do I have to wear
That phony smile
Do I have to play
That worthless part

Tell me. What do I have to do?

On Love

Love exists in different vantage points
Never on the same page
Never viewed on the same lens

Some love stories are nestled in one’s comfort zone
Almost always on that all too familiar lane
Nudging towards the equilibrium

Some love stories breathe fire and spontaneity
Daring to live dangerously and love instinctively
As if living and loving rest on their last hour

Some love stories harbor on the bright and striking subset of compatibility
Shunning other parts of their love’s Venn diagram
Basking gloriously inside that subset

Some love stories though short-lived are resurrected in the mind
Playfully reliving every moment, retrieving every known feeling
Pausing on some favorite frames

Some love stories can be like lines and curves
Seeing each other, but can never cross
Their eyes have seen how painfully asymptotic love can be

Some love stories are just that
A story with a bland denouement
And nothing more

1.1.11

Year on year, I’ve been trying to start my year right. I would try to remove cobwebs from the previous year and look forward to the new year with a renewed spirit. I would go around and preoccupy myself with the holiday festivity.

This week, things were different. I missed out on a lot of things. I missed out on my planned activities. 2010’s cobwebs are still… well… cobwebs. No signs of renewed energy yet.

I am writing this in between coughs, in between sessions with the nebulizer. I sometimes sound like a baby hyena. Sometimes like a rundown engine... I was forced to stay at home and… stare. I am now paying for all the abuses I did with my health because I thought I was invincible. Of course, I was wrong. My agimat doesn’t work.

Amidst the wheezing, sneezing and coughing, I was able to think about a lot of things. I thought about how negligent I was in taking care of my health. I thought about the way I attempted to move my boundaries and set new targets for myself. I thought about how thankful I should be that I was forced to rest before I get the ball rolling in 2011. Hence, New Year’s resolution # 1: Thou shalt not mess with your health, lest you pay a hundred fold plus interest.

I also thought about the previous year. In retrospect, 2010 was a good year. It was a mix of new hopes, new learnings, new friends, and new opportunities. It was a good mix of pain and happiness, failure and success, endings and beginnings. Bumpy rides were worthwhile with fabulous family and friends. Last year showed me how obscure I am as compared to the magnificently shaped the world. Last year was a blessed year with a FAITHFUL God.

Regardless if 01.01.11 is different from my usual New Year’s Day, I look forward to 2011 with a broad smile and a thankful heart.