“I am working here to buy myself a spanking new professional camera,” said my friend four years ago when asked why he decided to work in a call center immediately after college. I remember him talking about quitting his job thereafter living his passion as a free lance photographer. Four years later, he is still in the call center and he is not one professional camera richer. He bought other things: essential (and frequently non-essential) stuff for his boarding house, new clothes, expensive coffee and nice shoes. He frequents both the ukay-ukay and greenbelt in between his night stint as a CSR.
I remember him back in college. I remember his sheer talent for photography. I remember his eye for light, color, texture and balance. I remember his gleaming eyes while he talks about photography jargon. I remember us admiring the photos that he took. I remember admiring his adept talent and how he could do justice to my photos despite my not photogenic self. I remember how he loved his art. Though I am a photography ignoramus, I know he has some god-given talent.
I am not sure if his dream died a natural death or was just pushed to the corner of his mind. I am not sure if he was just caught in the middle of the survival frenzy ironically occurring in our humdrum lives. I am not sure he was just afraid to venture into a drastic change. I am not sure he was just afraid to disturb his placid life. I’m not sure if he is just procrastinating.
He could well provide for his need and some of his wants now. Maybe this was his dream. Or maybe not.
I thought about my own dreams. My dreams with death wishes... I remember myself of dreaming grand things for myself. I thought about fabulous things that could happen to me. I was positive about my capabilities. I was positive about living my dreams. Well, those dreams are not shelved to accommodate some urgent and important things.
I was inspired by a passage from Paulo Coelho’s book Like a Flowing River. In the chapter Statutes for the New Millennium he said that, “6. Every human being has a personal legend to be fulfilled, and this is our reason for being in the world. This personal legend manifests itself in our enthusiasm for the task. 7. One can abandon one’s personal legend for a time, as long as one does not forget about it entirely and returns to it as soon as possible.”
I’m glad I was able to read that passage. Maybe it’s not too late for my friend to buy his camera. Maybe it’s not too late for me to live my dreams as well.
